《你好，李煥英》是大陸喜劇演員賈玲自編自導自演的作品，根據賈玲自己的經歷和回憶創作而成。電影中，賈玲飾演的賈曉玲剛考上大學後便和母親李煥英一起遭遇了車禍，在母親的彌留之際，曉玲意外穿越回了1981年，和花樣年花的母親相遇相知，並展開了一系列真摯動人的故事。《你好，李煥英》一上映就在大陸造成轟動，賈玲也憑藉這部電影成為了全球票房最高的女導演。去年年初，青青合唱團的朋友徐楨向我推薦這部電影，但是當時媽媽剛離世不久，我實在沒有勇氣去看這部電影。將近一年之後，我終於點開了徐楨分享給我的電影連結，結果發現這部電影比我預期中的更加感人肺腑、盪氣迴腸——一百二十分鐘的電影，我有一百多分鐘是在淚眼迷濛中看完的。
電影開始沒多久，賈玲笑著跟母親說的一句「想妳女兒掙完錢以後妳要買什麼呀！」就讓我淚崩了，因為我也曾經跟媽媽說過一樣的話。我知道爸爸媽媽將我拉拔長大十分不容易，我小時候有一段時間十分叛逆、不讓人省心，後來爸爸媽媽的事業遭遇瓶頸，但是他們還是頂著壓力全力支持我求學。我好不容易畢業找了份好工作，每年最期待的事情之一就是回台灣前幫家人買好多好多禮物——掙完錢以後能幫媽媽買東西，總是令我無比開心。可惜我工作才兩年多，媽媽便過世了，我過去一年多新達成的許多成就，她都無法親眼見證，所以賈玲在病床前哭著對母親說的「我馬上就有出息了，你現在要走了，我會恨自己一輩子的。」，讓我無比真切地感受到了跟她一樣的刺骨錐心，排山倒海的遺憾朝我席捲而來——無論多少淚水都洗不去的遺憾。
賈玲和母親在1981年的相遇充滿了歡笑與淚水，也讓我不禁開始想像，如果我也能回到過去、認識年輕時的媽媽，那會怎樣一番光景呢？我一直對爸爸媽媽成長的年代充滿嚮往，我猜那或許是台灣最好的時代：經濟奇蹟、校園民歌、以國家興亡為己任，置個人生死為度外的熱血青年……我一輩子都以爸爸媽媽為榜樣，所以我總是感到好奇：一個物質相對貧乏的環境，究竟是如何成就了他們人格和心性？而我有幸成長在一個資源更為豐富的年代，我有沒有辦法成為和他們一樣的人？電影中的李煥英在化工廠努力拼搏、在排球場上英姿颯爽、平時也不忘從新奇的事物中（比方說當年的電視、電影）獲得許多樂趣，我猜這大概跟媽媽年輕時的模樣相去不遠吧！成年後，我一直覺得媽媽是我最好的朋友、最了解我的人，如果我真的有幸能像電影中的賈玲一樣回到過去、認識年輕時的媽媽，或許我們那時就會成為最好的朋友，我大概也會像賈玲一樣，拼了命了讓年輕時的媽媽高興吧！
電影最後二十分鐘有一個意料之外的反轉，我覺得這個轉折昇華了整部電影的格局（也讓我在最後二十分鐘直接哭暈了）。當我明白了年輕的李煥英身體裡其實是四十八歲的靈魂時，她和賈玲在電影前期的許多互動細節就顯得格外揪心。在賈玲千方百計地想撮合她和廠長的兒子（而不是賈玲自己的父親）、希望她以後過上富貴的生活時，她對賈玲說：「我的女兒，我就要她健康快樂就行。」乍聽之下，像是少女的天真理想，讓賈玲恨鐵不成鋼，但是這其實是李煥英在彌留之際，對女兒最深切的期望，她也藉此告訴賈玲，不需要總想著如何給母親長臉，或是試圖改變過去讓母親嫁入豪門，她只希望賈玲健康快樂。媽媽生前也跟我說過一樣的話，我記得有一次我週末視訊給媽媽，她剛做完化療回家，身體十分不適，我告訴她我一定會好好努力好好爭氣，要她放寬心養病。結果她的回應跟李煥英如出一轍，她說只要我身體健康、平安快樂，她就沒什麼好牽掛的。媽媽臨終前，艱難地向我重複一樣的話；媽媽走後，許多朋友也以過來人或是母親的身份告訴我，子女健康快樂的生活是父母最大的心願。所以當李煥英對賈玲說，她只要女兒健康快樂時，我彷彿看見媽媽在生命的最後一段時間，殷切地對我說著一模一樣的話。媽媽離開後，我很努力地維持健康的生活習慣、讓自己的生活依舊精采充實，我想要達成她的心願，但是我心底也埋了一個達成不了的心願：我也一直希望她能健康快樂的活著。
電影的最後，賈玲買了開頭時答應母親要買的紅色敞篷車，她一個人開著新車馳騁在蜿蜒的公路上，想像著母親就坐在她身旁。這對我來說是既視感非常強的一幕：2017年媽媽去紐澤西出差，回程中順便去史丹佛看看我，當我開著我2001年的小豐田去機場接她時，她就一路叨念著我的車，怕它太小太舊、怕我開著不安全。我當時對她打包票，等我找到工作存夠錢，一定換一台更新更安全的車，讓她放心，結果我卻一直到她過世後才換了車。現在開車時，我心中時不時會浮現跟電影結尾一模一樣的一幕：我開著新車載著媽媽，跟她有說有笑，她也終於不用擔心我的車是不是舊得開到一半會拋錨。過去一年多，除了努力地調適自己的心情之外，我也一件一件地完成我曾經答應過媽媽的事。雖然她看不見，但是我也要帶著她的心願，在我的人生路上繼續一步一步地前行，就像電影結尾中的賈玲，即使母親並沒有真正坐在她身邊，她依然開著承載著她們母女回憶的鮮紅敞篷車，馳向明亮寬廣的天際。
Hi, Mom is a film written and directed by the Chinese comedian Jia Ling, and starring Jia Ling herself. Jia Ling made this film in memory of her mother, and it is based on the stories between them. In the movie, Jia Ling and her mother Li Huanying got into a car accident soon after Jia Ling was accepted to college, and Li Huanying was fatally injured. As her mother was dying, Jia Ling found herself transported back to 1981 and met a young Li Huanying. She became close friends with her 18-year-old mother and they embarked on a touching journey together. Immediately after release, Hi, Mom became a big hit in China, and it made Jia Ling the highest-grossing female director in the world. Jane, my friend from Ching Ching Chorus, recommended this film to me at the beginning of last year, but back then I did not have the courage to watch it because I just lost my mom. Almost a year later, I finally opened the movie link that Jane sent me, and this movie turned out to be much more heartwarming and soul-stirring than I expected — I was watching it in tears for more than eighty percent of the time.
In the beginning of the movie, I burst into tears the moment I heard Jia Ling say to her mother, “Think about what you want to buy once I make money!” I once said the exact same thing to my mom. I know it wasn’t easy for my parents to raise me: I was once very rebellious and caused a lot of trouble for them; afterwards, they hit a bottleneck in their careers, but they still did everything they could to support my study. After I finally graduated and found a decent job, I always look forward to buying lots of gifts for my family when I go back to Taiwan. Buying things for my mom with the money I earned myself always brings me a lot of joy. Unfortunately, my mom passed away only two years after I started my professional career, and she could not see all the milestones I accomplished in the past year or so. Therefore, when Jia Ling cried by her mother’s bed and said, “I am about to succeed! If you leave now, I will blame myself forever,” I could feel all of her piercing pain. I was overwhelmed by grief and regrets that no amount of tears could wash away.
Jia Ling’s encounter with her mother in 1981 was filled with laughter and tears, and it made me wonder what it would be like if I could also go back in time and meet my mom when she was young. I think the time that my parents grew up in was probably the best era in Taiwan: the Economic Miracle, campus folk songs, and passionate young people with big dreams. I have been looking up to my parents my entire life. Therefore, I am always curious about how they grew up, as well as what gave them such rich characters and intelligent minds in a much less affluent society than today. I am fortunate enough to grow up with a lot more resources than they did, yet I still wonder if I can become as good as them one day. In the movie, Li Huanying worked hard in a chemical plant, was a heroine on the volleyball court, and could always find joy in novel things in life (such as televisions and movies, which were very new in the 80s). I guess my mom was probably the same way when she was young too. As a grownup, I have always thought of my mom as my best friend and the one who knows me the most. If I were fortunate enough to go back in time and meet her when she was young, I think we would become best friends back then. I would probably also try to do everything I can to make my young mother happy, just like what Jia Ling did in the movie.
There was a surprising twist in the last twenty minutes of the movie. I think the twist really lifted the whole film, and it basically made me cry my eyes out until the end of the movie. When I realized the 18-year-old Li Huanying actually had a 48-year-old soul this entire time, all of her interactions with her daughter earlier became particularly sentimental. When Jia Ling tried to set her up with the factory manager’s son (instead of Jia Ling’s own father) in the hope of giving her a better life and a more accomplished daughter in the future, she told Jia Ling, “I just want my future daughter to be healthy and happy.” At first, this sounded very naive and made Jia Ling frustrated because she thought her mother did not understand her good intentions. However, it was in fact her mother’s deepest hope for her as she was dying. She was also trying to make Jia Ling understand that she did not need Jia Ling to make her look good or try to change the past so that she could marry a wealthy husband; she just wanted Jia Ling to be healthy and happy. My mom once said the same thing to me. There was once when I video-chatted her after she came back from chemotherapy. It pained me when I saw her suffer from the brutal side effects, so I told her that I would work hard to make her proud, and she should just relax and get better. Her response was the same as Li Huanying; she said as long as I am healthy and happy, she would have nothing to worry about. On her deathbed, she struggled to repeat the same thing to me when she was in terminal dehydration. After she passed away, many friends told me as mothers, that parents’ deepest wish is for their children to have a healthy and happy life. When Li Huanying told Jia Ling all she wanted was for her daughter to be healthy and happy, I saw my mom saying the same thing to me in the last days of her life. After my mom passed away, I have been doing my best to maintain a healthy and happy lifestyle. I want to fulfill her wish, but deep down, I myself have a wish that will no longer be fulfilled: I also want her to be healthy and happy.
At the end of the movie, Jia Ling bought the red convertible that she promised her mother to buy before they got into the fatal car accident. She drove it down the windy freeway on her own, imaging her mom was sitting by her. This scene feels like a deja vu for me. When my mom went to New Jersey on a business trip in 2017, she stopped by Stanford to visit me on her way back to Taiwan. I picked her up from the airport in my 2001 Toyota Corolla, and she was very concerned about my car being too old and too unsafe. I promised her that once I start working and save up enough, I will buy a newer car to give her peace of mind. However, I wasn’t able to buy a new car until after she passed away. Now when I drive, I see a scene similar to the movie ending from time to time: I am driving with my mom in the passenger seat. We are laughing and chatting, and she is no longer worried that my car is so old that it might break down anytime. In the past year and half, in addition to trying to get back to normal, I have also been fulfilling my promises to my mom, one after another. Even though she is no longer around, I still want to keep her wishes in mind as I continue with my life journey, just like Jia Ling — even though her mother was not actually sitting by her, she still drove the red convertible that carries their shared memories towards the beautiful, wide horizon.
