今年是我「二十幾歲」的最後一年，我送了自己兩件生日禮物：
- 全套金庸世紀新修版（金書基本上是我的少女時代，可以獨立寫一整篇網誌，現在暫且按下不表。）
- 紅木國家公園三天兩夜的露營之旅（現在除了死亡谷之外，加州所有的國家公園我都玩遍了！）
上研究所前不常慶祝生日，因為九月初多半在開學、考試、搬家、舍監職前訓練。上研究所之後，我有幸結交一群志同道合的好友，我們上山下海到處露營，讓我一個都市女孩也愛上了戶外活動。（對於我們時間充裕卻經濟拮据的研究生來說，露營大概是最經濟實惠的「讀萬卷書，行萬里路」的方法了！）2015年我滿24歲時，我決定要去一個我從來沒去過的地方露營慶祝我的生日。我們去了猛獁湖——那是一個與世隔絕、充滿地理奇觀的地方。我第一次看見了內陸鹽湖、奇詭的石灰華、被天然礦物染成藍綠色的火山口湖、高聳入雲的玄武岩柱。我也第一次一頭開車開進了一個火山口、車子卡在鬆軟的沙土裡動彈不得，被迫就地紮營，隔天一早三台拖吊車花了九牛二虎之力，才把我們拖出來。雖然驚險，但是我見到了以前從來沒有見識過的美麗風景，大大地拓展了我的視野，我也踏出了舒適圈，明白了即使膽小如我，在野外碰到困難時，還是可以化險為夷。
從此之後，我每年生日都出門露營：25歲我在巨杉國家公園第一次見到了全世界最大的樹木（就是俗稱「世界爺」的巨杉）、26歲我第一次划著橡皮艇到薩諾瑪湖上的營地、27歲我在太浩湖第一次克服的對高度的恐懼玩滑翔傘、28歲我第一次在上了優勝美地的半圓頂之後還覺得行有餘力。
今年我第一次見到北加州茂密蓊鬱的紅木森林。加州紅木是全世界最高的植物，以前偶爾在灣區看到一兩棵，總是對它們的高大挺拔無比讚嘆。這次在紅木國家公園，我看見的是一片片綿延無盡、高聳筆直的紅木森林，樹齡動輒幾百甚至幾千歲，站在樹 下抬頭看，往往連樹頂都看不見。莊嚴佇立的紅木、生機勃勃的蕨類、陽光穿透枝葉的剪影、林間悠游的羅斯福馬鹿，我彷彿踏入了《魔法公主》中的神木林，再一次對大自然的壯麗感到無比敬畏。我覺得，沒有任何語言能形容這片森林的美麗和神性，和它帶給我的震撼。
除了森林之外，我們也去了不少海灘，在潮池間尋找海星和海葵、坐在沙灘上聆聽海浪拍打海岸的旋律、欣賞著一排排鵜鶘御風破浪的英姿，也踩著冰冷的太平洋海水，思念著大洋彼端的親人。傍晚，我們升起營火，在營火邊談天觀星。或許因為露營是我在研究所最美好的回憶之一，即使畢業後，每次出門露營，從清晨的鳥囀、微寒的霧氣、森林的芬芳、山岳的壯闊、河水的奔騰、大海的波濤，到晚間營火的歡快嗶剝和夜空的繁星點點，都讓我感到無比地平靜、快樂和滿足，讓我暫時從滾滾紅塵中的紛紛擾擾中抽離，只專注於眼前每一個大自然的奇蹟。
開始上班之後時間不如以往彈性，以前一起露營的好友們也陸陸續續搬離了灣區，展開了自己的人生旅程，但是我依然堅持著生日出門露營的傳統，藉著生日的機會提醒自己：新的一年要繼續保持好奇心、不斷探索著未知的世界；要繼續保持謙卑、崇敬大自然的鬼斧神工；要繼續保持勇敢、不要害怕踏出自己的舒適圈。
過去二十八歲這一年，壓力頗大，焦慮惶惑的時間不少，新冠肺炎疫情爆發後，許多重要的計畫更是被全盤打亂，但是還是有許多值得回味再三的美好時光：工作簽證問題解決後的全身一鬆、第一次和合唱團去奧克拉荷馬表演完淚灑後台的感動、終於順利回台灣和家人團圓的溫暖喜悅、百年校慶中女儀隊表演的熱血激奮、年初兩位摯友搬回歐洲前寄宿在我們家的夜夜笙歌（好吧其實沒那麼誇張，但是我們在一起的每一天都玩得很開心）、講了好幾年之後終於去了火山岩床保護區的地下岩洞探險、頂著新冠肺炎的壓力完成了人生的重要里程碑……雖然疫情結束看似遙遙無期，年底回家的路漫漫，但是我依然感謝過去這一年在困境中支持我、陪伴我、激勵我成長、和我一起慶祝我生命中的里程碑的人。在我「二十幾歲」的最後一年，我依然期許自己，要繼續好奇、繼續謙卑、繼續勇敢，更重要的是保持一顆樂觀開朗的心，就像我十八歲第一年來美國時對自己說的：「不管外在有多少風霜雨雪，我的心中每天都要開出一朵玫瑰。」
二十九歲，我來啦！
This is the last year of my twenties, and I got myself two gifts:
- A full set of Jin Yong’s novel collection, New Century Edition (This is basically all of my youth. I will save it for another blog post.)
- Camping at Redwood National and State Park (Now Death Valley is the only national park in California that I have not been to!)
Before grad school, early September was traditionally a time for the start of school, exams, moving, or CA training. Therefore, I didn’t use to celebrate my birthday much. After I went to Stanford, I met my Camping Crew. We went on camping adventures all over the place, and I fell in love with the outdoors even though I grew up in a city. (For grad students like us with flexible schedules but not a lot of money, camping is perhaps the most efficient and economical way to explore the world.) When I turned 24 in 2015, I decided to celebrate my birthday by camping somewhere I had never been to before. We ended up going to Mammoth Lakes, a remote, isolated area with many geographic wonders. For the first time in my life, I saw an inland saline soda lake, oddly-shaped tufa, bluish-green crater lakes filled with minerals, and towering basalt columns. This was also the first time I drove my car into a dry lake bed and got trapped in quicksand. We were forced to camp by the car until three tow trucks came to our rescue the next morning. It was quite a scary experience, but I greatly broadened my horizons and saw some of the most impressive sceneries in my life. I also stepped out of my comfort zone: now I know that while I am usually pretty risk-averse and somehow timid, I can manage to survive an outdoor crisis.
After that, I have been camping at a new place every year for my birthday. When I turned 25, I saw the biggest trees in the world for the first time at Sequoia National Park. When I turned 26, I went boat camping for the first time at Lake Sonoma. When I turned 27, I camped by Lake Tahoe for the first time and conquered my fear for height by parasailing. When I turned 28, I crushed Half Dome for the first time.
This year, I saw the spectacular redwood forests in Northern California for the first time. Coastal redwoods are the tallest trees in the world. When I occasionally see one or two of them in the Bay Area, I am always impressed with how tall and straight they are. This time at Redwood National Park, I saw endless forests of giant, tall redwoods that are hundreds or thousands of years old. When I stood at the bottom of the trees and looked up, I could rarely see the top of the trees. The solemn redwoods, lively ferns, sun beams through the leaves, and Roosevelt elks wondering through the prairies made me feel like I stepped into the magical forest in “Princess Mononoke.” Once again, I am in awe of Mother nature’s magnificence. I don’t think any language can fully capture the beauty and divinity of these redwood forests, and how deeply they moved my soul.
In addition to forests, we also visited many beaches. We looked for starfish and anemones in tide pools, sat on the beach and listened to the melody of the ocean, looked at flocks of grey pelicans glide elegantly along the waves, and stepped into the freezing Pacific Ocean, thinking of my family across the sea. In the evening, we hung out and stargazed by the camp fire. Perhaps because camping is one of my fondest memories from grad school, everything about camping always brings peace, joy, and content to my heart – everything from the morning bird chirps, the cold fogs, the lively forests, the magnificent mountains, the running rivers, the vast oceans, to the dancing campfire and starry night sky. Even after I graduated, every time I go camping, I feel as if I am completely separated from all hustle and bustle of the mortal world – all I could see and feel are the wonders of Mother Nature.
After I started working, I haven’t had as much time to camp, and my Camping Crew have left the Bay Area to embark on their own journeys. However, I continue to camp in a new place every year for my birthday. I use this as an opportunity to remind myself: in the new year, I should stay curious and continue to explore the unknown world; I should stay humble and respect Mother Nature’s wonders; I should stay courageous and not be afraid to step out of my comfort zone.
My 28th was a pretty stressful year. There was a lot of uncertainties, anxiety, and despair. Furthermore, many important plans have been disrupted since the COVID-19 outbreak. Thankfully, there were still many wonderful moments that I truly cherish: the relief after I finally resolved my H-1B issue, the emotional experience performing in Oklahoma with WSingers, the joy after I finally made it back to Taiwan and reunited with my family, the excitement during the THG performance in my high school’s 100th anniversary, the parties we had with Matt and Jana every week when they lived with us before they moved back to Europe, the caving adventures at Lava Beds after talking about it for many year, and reaching an important milestone of my life in spite of COVID….etc. Although there is no end to the pandemic in sight, and I still don’t know when/whether I will be able to see my family this year, I am still incredibly thankful for those who supported me during difficult times, inspired me to grow and become a better person, and celebrated important milestones with me. In the last year of my twenties, I wish I will continue to be curious, humble, courageous, and most importantly, optimistic and hopeful no matter what happens. Just like what I told myself after my first quarter at Northwestern when I was 18, “No matter how hard it storms outside, a rose shall bloom in my heart every day.”
Here I come, 29th!