It’s my 20th birthday today, and I received the best birthday gift from my parents. Thank you Dad and Mom — it reminds me of all the wonderful things I thought I had lost through the course of life; it reminds me of the kind of person I want myself to be; it reminds me of the attitude I should have when life challenges me.
Hsiao-Tieh,
It’s your twentieth birthday today. Happy birthday!
This is a very important day for you, for from now on you will no longer call yourself a “teenager.” We hope we could do something for you on this special day, but since you are so far away from home, we could only write you this letter, hoping that our words can add some sparkles to this wonderful day.
We were talking to Grandpa earlier and he recalled that when we first came back to Taiwan, we went hiking with him and Granduncle. You were two years old, but you finished the whole hike on your own without complaining. Both Grandpa and Granduncle were very impressed. This event reflects an essential fact in the first twenty years of your life: in a Cartesian coordinate system, if the x-axis is the amount of efforts you put in and the y-axis is your accomplishment, your graph should be a linear function. With some other factors such as the guidance of your mentors and inspirations from your classmates, the slope of your function might be slightly greater than average.
In fact, for most people, the graph of life before twenty years old is also a linear function: the effort is directly proportional to the accomplishment. The only difference is the slope. However, I found a quote from Forrest Gump a very good footnote for life, “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” Real-life is full of challenges and uncertainties, and we believe you know this better than many other people do. You took a road less traveled by, and we believe that has made all the difference. In the future, the function of your life might no longer be linear. It could be curved or W-shaped. Therefore, you should learn to do things right. Sometimes this is more important than doing the right things. For example, studying hard for good grades is the right thing to do, but if you work so hard to a point that you start to skip meals or stay up late, your body will not be able to handle it. This is definitely not doing things right.
In the past twenty years, you are taught what are the right things to do, so you would want to do the right things. However, in our education system, doing things right is rarely emphasized. We would like to let you know that doing things right is usually motivated by a good reason, a clear goal, and rational thoughts. It will give your success a solid foundation. Even if you fail, the harm will be under your control. Through talking to you every week, we are glad to know that you have been learning to do things right through the training and inspiration from your lab. In the future, you will have to explore how to do things correctly more than doing the correct things. By doing so, you might not be able to solve every problem in your life, but you will enjoy whichever chocolate you pick from the box. That’s life.
Since the beautiful early autumn in Oxford when you were born, what we have been experiencing in life is the story we just told you. No matter what happens in your life, you shall always remember, “There is something good in this world, and it’s worth fighting for.” (Samwise the Brave, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers)
Love you,
Dad & Mom
今天是我的二十歲生日,我收到了來自爸爸媽媽最棒的禮物。謝謝爸爸媽媽,這封信讓我想起許多我以為我已經失去的美好、讓我想起我曾立志成為什麼樣的人、讓我想起我該用什麼樣的態度面對生命中的挑戰。
曉蝶:
今天是妳20歲的生日,祝妳生日快樂。
對任何人來說,這是一個實際長大成人的重要日子,免不了要留下一些紀念,但是一方面因為妳遠在國外,一方面認為妳會更期待來自我們的隻字片語,所以就用以下的文字,為妳的歲月添些飛鴻雪泥吧!
前一陣子爺爺回憶起我們剛回台灣的時候,有一次,妳與爺爺、大爺爺一起爬虎頭山,對一個兩歲多的孩子來說,從頭到尾沒有喊累,跟著大人走完全程,讓這兩位長輩對妳的毅力讚許有加。是的,在妳的人生的前20年,前面這段往事,應該可以非常鮮明的反應明確的事實:如果,在一個座標上,縱軸是成就表現,橫軸是努力程度,妳的函數圖形應該是一條線性直線。加上一些因素的調整,例如啟蒙時期老師的關愛、高中時期同儕的激勵等,這條直線的斜率可能比平均值大一些。
其實,對大多數人來說,20歲以前都是一條直線,只是斜率大小的差異。然而我常引用「阿甘正傳」裡的一句話:Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you are gonna get. 不確定的挑戰才是真實的人生。我們相信妳早有此信念,所以如同 “The Road Not Taken”所言,妳選擇了一條較少人走的路,而我們都相信 “That has made all the difference”。因此,妳的人生直線未來的延伸,很有可能是連續的W形。也正因為如此,妳更要學習用對的方法做事情,有的時候,它可能比做對的事更重要。舉個很簡單的例子,努力用功求得好成績是對的事,但如果超過體力極限,就不是對的方法。
過去的大多數時間裡,妳可能都被教導什麼是對的,所以妳要做對的事。而用對的方法做事情,鮮少在我們的體系裡被強調。簡單的說,對的方法會來自正當的動機,明確的目標,及理性的思辨,其結果會使成功具有穩固的基礎,即使失敗,也能控制傷害。我們非常高興從與妳談天中,瞭解到妳在實驗室裡所受到的訓練與啟發,其實已經驗證了前面的話。在未來的日子裡,妳會發現必須不斷的探索如何用對的方法做事情,可能妳無法解決所有問題,但是妳會非常享受所選擇的巧克力,That’s the life.
回想20年前,牛津的初秋,妳的誕生直到今天,我們所經歷的,其實就是我剛才向妳訴說的故事,不管迎接妳的是什麼情境,永遠記著There is something good in the world, and that’s worth fighting for. (引用Samwise the brave, The Lord of the Rings II)。
爸媽