I got my lead climbing certification for the first time earlier in August.
Lead climbing is a rock climbing style where a climber climbs with a rope and clips in along a route to protect himself/herself from a fall. Although I have been rock climbing for years, I didn’t start to learn how to lead until this June, and it took me another month to get certified.
Back when I was climbing at Stanford, a few of my friends (including my coach Callisto) took lead climbing classes together. I was never interested in joining them because I was extremely scared of taking big falls. In the gym, I often saw lead climbers fall for 15ft or more, and I could barely handle the 5-10ft fall from bouldering. Sometimes I saw lead belayers getting pulled up into the air when the climber fell abruptly, which was also very terrifying. Finally, lead climbing requires a lot more skills and strength than top roping because lead climbers have to pause and clip in multiple times during a route. I was not confident enough in my strength to try lead climbing.
Since I started to climb again last March, I have made good progress in both top roping and bouldering. I reached the best level of rock climbing in my life. However, I also hit a bottleneck where I stopped improving for a few months, and I was looking for a way to make a breakthrough. My top roping partner had been interested in lead climbing for a while, and he even dragged me into a few mock lead climbing sessionss to take lead climbing classes with him, as I was quite resistant at the beginning. I eventually gave in, probably because I figured there was no other good goal for me to work towards at the moment anyways since I was struggling with my bottleneck.
When I first took the lead climbing class, I was completely overwhelmed because there were so many new concepts and techniques. Before I took the class, I thought I was pretty knowledgeable about rock climbing already, but I realized there was so much more to learn after I took the class. Taking falls was extremely difficult for me. The first big fall I took was almost 20ft (~4 quickdraws). Even though it was a planned fall, I screamed so loudly that half of the gym could hear me. I had a very hard time getting back onto the wall and shook really hard as I continued with the route. I felt nauseous for the rest of the evening, and I couldn’t sleep that night because I had so much adrenaline in my body.
At first, lead climbing did not feel very pleasant. I was constantly contemplating giving up since I really couldn’t handle the big falls. Thankfully, there were a few others who took the class with me and they held me accountable. After the classes ended, we practiced lead climbing together often, and the more I practiced, the less overwhelming lead climbing felt. Although I am still extremely scared of falling, I became more familiar with the various motions involved in lead climbing. I also got better at reading the routes and thinking about my beta in advance. This is actually one of my favorite things about rock climbing — I use my brain as much as I use my muscles. After a few weeks, I began to think that I might actually be able to get certified to lead and to finally make a breakthrough after being stuck at a bottleneck for a few months.
The first time I took the lead test, I failed. (This doesn’t seem that surprising. Although I have been good at taking paper exams, I am terrible at any test that involves physical movements. For example, it took me 4 tries to pass the behind-the-wheel test for my driver’s license. Just like the DMV officers, the rock gym staff could probably tell that I was extremely nervous when I took the test for the first time.) I thought I was going to feel very discouraged and give up because lead climbing has been so difficult for me from the beginning. Thankfully, my climbing partners (who also failed on our first attempt) pushed me to practice harder to address the examiner’s feedback. The experience of failing the first time also made me realize that the world is not going to end if I fail. Worst case scenario, I fail again, practice for a few more weeks, and take the test again until I pass. I really have nothing to lose.
After 2 more weeks of practicing, I finally got lead certified on my second try. By the time I got certified, I felt a lot more confident in my skills, and I even started to connect the dots between lead climbing, top roping, and bouldering. Although I am still very scared of falling, at least I did not scream when I had to take a fall during my lead test. Once again, I thought of what my dad told me, “Even though it is just a hobby, pursue it like it’s your profession.” When I first started rock climbing, I never thought I would be good at it, but here I am now — I can do all three types of indoor climbing, and I continue to push myself to climb harder routes. One thing I love about rock climbing is that it seems like I can always make improvements somewhere. When I am going through difficult times in my life, where everything else seems stagnant, rock climbing is one of the few things that I can keep making progress on, and it helps me keep my drive, motivation, and willpower. With my newly acquired rock climbing skills, I look forward to becoming stronger and more skillful. I am hopeful that lead climbing will help me get better at top roping and bouldering. Lead climbing also made me feel closer to the rock climbing community in the gym as I got a lot of support along the way, even from climbers I barely know. I started to talk to other lead climbers at the gym, and I even went outdoor climbing with them. I hope one day I will become the best rock climber I can ever be.
八月初，我第一次拿到了先鋒攀岩的認證。
先鋒攀岩是一種進階的攀岩形式。攀岩者沒有上方的繩子可以提供確保，需要沿著攀登路線自行架設確保系統。雖然我攀岩有好些年了，但是直到今年六月底我才開始學先鋒攀岩，之後又花了一個月才拿到認證。
當年我還在史丹佛攀岩時，我的啟蒙老師 Callisto 和另外幾個朋友一起學了先鋒攀岩。我沒想過和他們一起上課，因為我對墜落（尤其是長距離的墜落）充滿恐懼。在攀岩場裡，我常常看到先鋒攀岩者一墜落就是四五公尺，而對我來說，抱石的三公尺墜落就已經很可怕了。有幾次我還看見先鋒攀岩者突然墜落後，他們的確保者被拽上半空中，更加深了我對先鋒攀岩的恐懼。而且比起頂繩攀岩，先鋒攀岩需要更進階的技巧和力量：先鋒攀岩者需要沿著攀岩路線掛快扣架設確保系統，所以攀岩者必須具備一定空中滯留的技巧。我對自己的攀岩能力沒有足夠的信心去嘗試先鋒攀岩。
自從我去年三月重新開始攀岩之後，我在頂繩攀岩和抱石都取得了不錯的進步，達到了我這輩子攀岩能力的巔峰。但是最近幾個月我遇到了瓶頸，所以我嘗試著不同的方式尋求突破。跟我一起頂繩攀岩的同伴一直對先鋒攀岩有興趣，甚至半強迫地拉著我嘗試了幾次模擬先鋒。我一開始非常抗拒，也不記得他究竟如何成功說服我跟他一起上先鋒攀岩的課程，或許是因為我最後認命了——反正我還卡在瓶頸裡沒有什麼新目標，不如試試一種不同型態的攀岩，說不定會有意外的收穫。
第一次上先鋒攀岩課時，我完全懵了，因為老師一下子教了好多新概念和新技巧，我短時間內消化不來。在開始學習先鋒攀岩之前，我以為我對攀岩已經相當了解；學了先鋒攀岩之後，我才知道原來我還有好多東西要學習。先鋒墜落對我來說非常困難，我第一次練習時，掉了六公尺左右（大約四個快扣），我淒厲的尖叫聲大概半個攀岩場都聽得見。墜落後，我花了九牛二虎之力才回到牆上，攀爬剩餘路線的過程中全身也是止不住地顫抖。回家後，我整個晚上都覺得噁心想吐，還因為體內有太多腎上腺素關係而無法入眠。
一開始，先鋒攀岩對我來說並不是愉快的經驗，因為我真的無法承受高度和墜落帶給我的恐懼，好在跟我一起上課的幾個人沒有讓我就這樣輕易放棄。課程結束後，我們時常一起練習，而練習就像一張砂紙，把我心中抗拒的稜角一點一滴地磨平了。雖然我還是非常害怕長距離的墜落，但是我對先鋒攀岩的各種動作和空中滯留的技巧越來越熟悉。我理解路線和事先思考動作的能力也在進步（這也是我熱愛攀岩的眾多原因之一——除了動手之外，我更需要動腦）。練習了幾個禮拜之後，我對自己越來越有信心了，我開始覺得我說不定真的能拿到先鋒攀岩的認證，讓自己在經歷了幾個月的瓶頸後能在新的方向有所突破。
我並沒有通過我的第一次先鋒攀岩考試。（對我來說其實不算太意外，雖然紙筆考試一般來說難不倒我，但是我卻一點兒也不擅長任何需要四肢協調的考試。比方說，我在加州駕照的路考考了四次才過。攀岩場的主考官大概跟車管局的主考官一樣，一眼就看出我第一次考試的時候非常緊張。）我原本以為我會很氣餒，然後乾脆直接放棄，因為先鋒攀岩對我來說本來就很困難。但是我的同伴們並沒有放棄（我們第一次考試都沒有通過），他們督促我繼續練習，確保我能改正主考官點出的問題。第一次沒通過的經驗也讓我明白其實不通過也沒什麼大不了的，最壞的情況就是我下一次再不通過、再繼續練習，然後考到通過為止。
又練習了兩個禮拜之後，我終於通過了考試。拿到了我的先鋒攀岩認證後，我對自己的攀岩技巧更有信心了，有時候甚至還能將我在先鋒攀岩學到的新知識與頂繩和抱石互相印證。我還是很害怕墜落，但是至少我第二次考試墜落時沒有放聲尖叫。我再一次想到爸爸曾經跟我說的：「即使只是興趣，也要用對待專業的態度來培養。」當我剛開始攀岩時，我並不覺得我能做得多好，但是現在，室內攀岩的三種形式我都會，我也持續挑戰難度更高的路線。對我來說，攀岩是一項很有意義的運動，因為我總有辦法找到自己可以進步的地方。當我經歷人生低谷、一切似乎都停滯不前時，攀岩是少數我還能不斷進步的事情之一，攀岩也在困難的時刻幫助我保持動力和意志力。學會了先鋒攀岩後，我希望自己能變得更強壯、我的攀岩技巧能更嫻熟，我也希望先鋒攀岩能讓我的頂繩和抱石都跟著一起進步。自從開始先鋒攀岩後，我真正覺得自己成了攀岩場的一份子，因為過程中我收穫了許多支持和鼓勵，我開始認識攀岩場裡的其他先鋒攀岩者，也開始跟他們去戶外攀岩。希望我能繼續進步，成為我所能成為最好的攀岩者。
